The only thing he did not have was his name in the family ration card

03.37 am, 18th July, Jerry breathed his last on ammas lap. He even did his saashtangam salute moments before that. Why would anyone name his or her dog after a rat one would ask. He came to me with that name. When I found this guy first, the first thing that struck me was "Boy he is huge" un cared for, abandoned, forlorn and immensely sad. Deepak and Ganesh asked me again. Are u sure you wish to pick this guy up? He is overgrown and definitely does not look puppy like. Its such a cliché if I tell u that my heart went out to him the minute I set my eyes on him.. The thing about meeting your first pet and life partner is a lot alike. You sense the connection. that tug at your heart. It is the eyes maybe. But when people said "fallen in love" I would be like Duh..one grows in love..that's what happened when I introduced jerry to the rest..
He was bored and did not seem to care about anything or anyone. He was grumpy but so lazy to even show it. From Palavakkam I took him straight to a vet. Ask me how..Nestled him like a baby on my hip and his head watching for my back as I carried this huge heavy pitch black Dob Lab cross..
He still didn’t care. I am reminded of Vikrams expression in Pithamagan. Jerry held his head high and looked around like it was the most common thing to happen to a dog. Being carried around like a baby. He just did not relax. He must ve veen 4 years then…or was it 5?
He wanted nothing. I got a lot of biscuits. Its a tendency to shower a new born with a lot of things. Necessary and unnecessary. I wanted all of it at the vet shop. Shampoo, soap, bones, towel, collar, designer leash, name tag, warmer. He did not care much for the Biscuits I noticed.
The doctor told me that he is severely depressed and thus the high fever. That he will succumb to depression. He added that Jerry was in the worst of health. I bet he loved his previous owners who could not keep him anymore. Love is painful indeed. Maybe jerry gave up on that emotion altogether. Maybe he did not believe in Love anymore. That was not good I said. Theatre to the rescue
Ha..My friends turned dogs…(Read literally) They did the fetch, they jumped to get the biscuit I threw..I teased, I played. Jerry responded with one ear up in the air. Reminds me of how Traffic policemen give a unsure go ahead at the swelling traffic. The other ear also peaked up in interest. And suddenly he didn’t care anymore.

Or so I thought…He did not like the amateurish jump and munch the biscuit style of Ganesh. He leapt and what a catch. The entire dog owners and shopkeepers halted their routine for a few moments. What Style I thought. He reminded me of a horse. A Black stallion- Athletic, Handsome, Dark, Robust and how handsome??

I hope he likes me..I think as I put him on my shoulder again. I thought about what the doctor said…he needs to be touched and loved and spoken to. I was holding him telling myself that he needed me. The truth is I needed him. Dipu leaving India for an uncertain period did make me feel weird. I was selfish then..I guess.
But I held on to jerry..he placed his large jaw on my shoulder and relaxed.
He liked the game. He liked the treats too.
Now to take him home and meet the parents.

Meeting my Parents…
It was the most Interesting introduction. Mom shrieked..dad had an expressionless face. It was early that morning Dipu chachan left for Canada.
When Jerry chose to stand on two legs, he was almost as tall as I was. Therefore looked quite scary.
I chose not to plead. Told amma and daddy that he needs a shelter for a few days. Sheri said amma after a lot of deliberation. But he remains on the verandah.
The following morning, I see him lying snuggled on the sofa…Mom sheepishly looked at me and said it rained last night. It did..
I knew. It rained when I first met Jerry. The sort that is quickly forgotten, that which dries up in minutes. Pleasant weather when there is no hury to honk through the traffic, everyone seems happy. The sort that makes you feel that everything is going to be alright? It rained heavy that night. I heard it and also tried not to laugh aloud when I heard amma open the door and talk to jerry in Malayalam.
He chose to ignore her. I guess amma was never ever ignored in such a manner. Then and there began her endless wooing.
Next week just to ensure that Jerry was indeed where he belongs, I called amma to tell her that I found him a safe place.
She said nothing. On arriving she was just quiet. For the last one week, she made it a point to tell us what else she discovered about Jerry. Apart from the fact that he was police trained and that he can fetch the paper and that he loved treats there was so much more she wanted to tell.

I was getting jerry ready to leave(Aah I love drama) Amma followed me around like a lamb..giving me instructions as to what time jerry needs what. His expressions indicating his needs. Fan should be at speed two or food has to be mixed in a certain way or he will waste or not eat. This went on till I reached the stairs that leads me to the gate outside. She asked me about jerrys parents to be. I gave a brief description. Mom was not satisfied. She said jerry loves attention and he wont get it there. I disagreed..(I did not study law for nothing) Mom gave in and asked me if jerry can stay on. She could not bear to see him unhappy anywhere else was her excuse. Oh was I relieved? Jerry won all of our hearts..

Jerry was the Dipu replacement I commented jocularly. Over long distance calls dipuchachan was introduced to Jerry.
The next few years revolved around jerry..his diet, the locked gate, terrorized rodents, birds, fellow animals. He hates the cow trinkets by the way. Has not bothered to stop a single human bad element. Hates the lungi clad..
Ha Ha anti mallu outside home. 36 years mum and dad have lived in Chennai and he came along and changed our address. We lived in the house of the Big black Lab Dob.

Amma called me to tell about jerry today morning. The strong nothing can affect me woman reeled out a number of questions….

Where are you now?
Kolkatta

Where you staying?
Park

How is your stay
……..uhmm

were you sleeping?
Yea

Jerry passed away!
…….

I have a presentation to make at St. Xaviours in a few hours. I cant breathe. Flashes of Jerrys image keeps coming back. I think of the day I tried to make him smile and when he did smile he looked so funny. Remembered how he chased the rat which chased and bit me on my 18th birthday and I had to relive my fear of injections through a mallu nurse who took tt. I remember him hiding ammachis Dr.Scholl footwear when she yelled at him in English for being a bad boy.
I remember him rolling over. I remember him standing by the parapet just looking at people. I remember him rushing out when he hears us arrive. I remember him scolding me for leaving him alone when I had to run an errand. I remember him wanting to play with Aji’s baby girl..I remember..

Him standing on two against the wall when he sees a gecko. Him stealing food from the kitchen on Easter and getting away with it by looking sweetly at amma. He got away from trouble just like dipuchachan.

He looks like a goat as a matter of fact. A big black goat when you gave him a bath. He hated getting a bath. Would bring the house down. Then he just accepted it. Smart boy that he was. Always knew whose side to take.

Dipu and jerry share a special bond..wonder what he would do to the huge vacuum jerry left behind…

Ahh the presentation at Xaviours!!! I was asked and pushed and urged to make my presentation..For jerry..really.
And I did. I stood outside St. Xaviors after my session and looked up to the sky to say hi to jerry and to tell him that” See I was a good girl..I did not skip what I had to” before a tear could leave my eye, a drop wet my cheek..it rained.
The sort which comes and goes in a spurt..like it was an excuse to kiss earth..like a soft wind that when u look around no tree could have started..
Considerate Jerry..didnt want to embarrass me in front of them all. Considerate Considerate jerry…he didn’t let me see him die..didnt let others see me cry.

Jerry here it is to you…I love you jerry mone. We love you..We love you forever.
Your meal bowl lies empty in the back yard baby..It will pain amma and daddy everytime they cross it. The school kids will be looking out for you to marvel at just the size of you. The prized possession of amma, all of her 30 chicken and ducks may heave a sigh of relief that you are not out to give them their much needed flying exercise. But they will miss you too…we love you jerry mone and we so miss you.
Your red collar is all dipuchachan has to clutch baby..as I type this away my eyes are blinded by tears sweetheart. I wish I could know what you were thinking when you said bye to amma..
Miss you dear jerry mone..Miss you baby

In dipuchachans words.."All that was missing was his name on the family Ration card"